We're #1

So, the latest is we're #1!!! If you are unfortunate enough to work with me than you already know this, since I danced around the office chanting "we're #1" over and over when I received the email from our social worker "R"! WOOHOO!! Additional good news is that we get to keep our social worker when we become active! Initially we were going to have to get a new social worker when we went active because our social worker "R" only worked parttime, BUT she recently extended her hours and we are blessed that we get to stay with her! So TWO fabulous pieces of news in one day!! We are so close I can almost smell the dirty diapers! heehee!!

So that is the latest and I will let you know as soon as we become ACTIVE!!!!!

Love the Soon to be Mommy and Soon to be Daddy (aka Kristy and Lee)

#2

Well, I heard from the agency on Friday...after I made up an additional excuse to email the admin!! (heehee I am so sneaky!) We are number TWO on the prospective list... so only two more families on the active list have to be matched with their babies and we will begin getting shown to all prospective birthmoms that are a good fit for us! It's absolutely crazy to think Lee and I could just be chilling on the couch on a Thursday night watching The Office, and we could get a call to come pick up our child!! I think once we are on the active list I will literally sprint to the phone everytime it rings! And I think Lee is probably going to have to start drinking on a nightly basis to cope with my insanity! heehee!
Anyway... my other questions that I had for the agency were regarding traveling for the holidays back to NY... I wasn't sure how it would work if a birthmom wanted to meet us while we were out of town and I had thought that it was illegal to take the baby out of state until the adoption was finalized (usually 5-6 months after placement)... but it's not...so it looks like Lee and I will get to travel to NY for Christmas this year. Which I am really excited about! We didn't go "home" to NY last year and although I loved having Christmas in our new house I did miss the chaos that surrounds holidays with my family! Lee and I will have to figure out what we are going to do with our pups.. I think it would be cool to drive but the question is whether mom will allow her two granddoggies to stay in her house...my guess would be "no"!! So we'll have to see! Maybe if we by some miracle have a baby by that time... we can bribe her with the prospect of seeing her human grandchild... hmmmm...what do you think mom???? heehee! Anyway...that is the latest news from here.. we are one step closer.... I can't wait!
Talk to you all soon!
Hugs,
Kristy and Lee

Maybe Baby??

Okay...pheww... it's been a long month, and I am sorry to all my friends and family, that I don't get to talk to often, that have missed out on all the excitement while it was happening. Well lots has happened on this adoption rollercoaster and I will do my best to fill you in on the latest ups and downs.

Well about a month ago, Lee and I were home sick and we received a call from our social worker. Lee answered the phone and was listening intently (our social worker is quite the talker...just like me) I kept looking at him for some kind of indication as to what she was saying, but he wasn't giving me anything! Then he asked me to pick up the other phone and our sw (social worker) proceeded to tell us that she had a "very iffy situation". There was a baby (a baby boy) who had been born on August 4th. The birthmother had wanted to place him for adoption but the birthfather was contesting. In Arizona (and I think most states) the birthfather is petitioned with paternity and he has 30 days to file...well this dear dad filed on day 31... however that meant that he was going to go to court to fight for paternity. Our sw felt that could go two ways... either the judge could say "you filed late...too bad so sad" or he could say "what's one day, I will grant you paternity". Well, we got the call on Monday and the court date was that Wednesday. Basically, our social worker was asking if we wanted to be presented... of course we said "YES". We were/are still on the prospective waiting list, but because this birthmom had already seen all the active profiles she had asked to see more, so that is why we ended up getting shown.
Well of course on Wednesday we were on pins and needles to hear what the judge would say... at this point we didn't even know if the birthmom would pick us (I think our sw said she was looking at 5 other profiles), but we were still excited at the prospect. Well.. I got the call on Wednesday that the judge postponed the hearing and appointed the birthdad a lawyer and rescheduled the hearing for mid-September (the 18th to be exact). Our social worker said she would let us know if/when she heard anything more, but that she felt if the birthmom had to wait another month before she could place, she most likely would decide to parent. She already had the little guy home with her and I am sure she was falling more and more in love with him everyday. I can only imagine how tough it must be for birthparents to part with there little ones. So...at that point we kind of figured it was a done deal. For some reason though I had a itchy feeling that I needed to check in with our sw, so the following Monday I emailed her to see if there were any updates. She told me no and that they hadn't heard from the birthmom over the weekend and were assuming she'd parent... Well that night my body rebelled and I got a horrible stomach flu... the following day I stayed home sick and was surprised out of a nap by a call from our sw....She had talked to the birthmom and she had said the birthdad agreed to sign the adoption papers...AND she CHOSE A COUPLE NAMED LEE AND KRISTY!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo right??? In order to protect us our agency wouldn't let us do a meeting with her until they got word that the birthdad had officially signed the papers.... and that is where our excitement ends... a few days went by and no word from the birthmom, our sw had called and left her several messages and didn't get a call back.... then a week went by...still no call...at two weeks the situation was deemed over and we are now back to waiting. We aren't sure what happened, but we can only assume that the reality of placing her little babe that she had with her for a month kicked in and she realized she couldn't do it. Lee and I have just prayed for her and the little guy and hope God grants her the strength to make a good life for herself and her sons. So, that is the story of our "maybe baby"! I have no way to accurately describe the emotions I went through during this process.... from sheer panic after the first call (omg, are we ready for this!!! - answer... of course we are!!! ), to disappointment after hearing the judge prolonging the situation, and sadness for the birthmom who basically was being backed into a corner to parent, to an undescribable ELATION when we heard she had actually picked us (the ultimate compliment) and I the big mouth that I am immediately began spreading the word (warning everyone to have cautious optimism) that it looked like Lee and I were going to finally have our prayers answered and be blessed with a son. To growing sadness and disappointment with everyday that passed that we hadn't heard from her. We were lucky that we didn't have the opportunity to hold him and bond with him, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't fall in love with the idea of the little guy.

So, that's that and now we are back on the prospective list...last we knew (a month ago) we were #5... and our agency contact told me this past Friday there was a lot of placement activity and she would let us know this week how many spotS we moved up (that's right plural spots) So we are holding our breath to see if we've made it to 1,2, or 3!!!!

As you can see this journey is still quite the rollercoaster of emotions, but Lee and I have faith that we will be placed with the baby meant to be ours and we know it will happen when it is meant to!! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!!!

Trying to stay sane in Arizona!!
Kristy & Lee

Boy or Girl??

Hi everyone!
I just added a poll feature, of who thinks we will get placed with a girl and who thinks we will get placed with a boy. I hope all of my 5 readers will vote! heehee!!! As you may be able to tell from the color I am typing in... I have a gut feeling that we are going to be placed with a girl!!! Lee doesn't seem to have a feeling on this one way or another; however, he does consistently refer to our future child as "he", so I think he is willing the universe to give him a son!
I have always thought I would have boys or be a better mother to a son, but since the adoption process I've been having these strong feelings that I am going to have a daughter! I have also been drawn to the adorable stretchy headbands for newborn baby girls and have had to slap my hand from buying them...literally.
Anyway... Lee and I would love your opinions!!! And this is one premonition that I won't care if I am right or wrong about... I WILL BE ABSOLUTELY THRILLED WITH A BOY OR A GIRL!!! hmmmm... or maybe we'll be blessed with both...twins maybe???

Update...

So the update is…there is no update! As of last Friday the 11th (officially a month after being placed on the prospective list) we have not moved a smidge…we are still # 7!! Argghh!! Ahhhh the injustice of it all!!! I did find out some good news though. On a positive note the families on the Active list that have already been matched with a birthmom will stay on the Active List until they are officially placed…so once those babies are born and if the placement goes through they will be moved off the active list….so it all could happen very quickly. I am really trying to relax and stay positive and in reality the first month did go by fairly fast… I was actually surprised it had already been a month!

Lee and I have actually just been having a great time… we went through a few weekends where we put together the crib and changing table and I started the border around the room (I didn’t get very far…I forgot how shaky my hand is with a paint brush) but the last few weekends we have just been having a great time going on “dates”. We have been going to the movies and out to dinner and on “double dates” with our best friends C & C and their one year old little boy C. I love that they are all C’s! heehee! We have decided to make the most of our remaining couple time and really enjoy those moments together. Looking back… we have spent so much time focused on getting to our baby that because of that determination we forgot just to relax and have fun! Now with all of our “work” behind us we are free to just Let go and Let God!
Additionally, I have also started working out almost daily! I am addicted. I have always loved to be active, but the fear of jostling things around and ruining a potential pregnancy had me becoming a lot lazier than I liked. And because of the ridiculous heat out here in AZ I have been doing my Turbo Jam videos rather than outdoor activities! The high energy, totally ripped, mother of two somehow does not annoy me, rather I look forward to her silly motivation! I have been doing the videos for about 3 weeks now, and I normally don't weigh myself...but I GAINED two pounds... ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I am telling myself it is muscle...but who knows. Regardless I feel better and have more energy, so I guess that is all that really matters!

So that is the update…regardless of my impatience I have to say I am still “happily” waiting! The sleepless nights and dirty diapers will come soon enough…for now I am enjoying hitting the snooze button on Saturday morning until at least 9am!!!

Long Overdue Update

I can’t believe it’s been since March that I have written anything…wow- guess I am not as much of a writer as I thought I was… Or it could be that I was too busy filling out all the applications and paperwork that goes along with the adoption! J I honestly didn’t think anybody really was looking at this, but I just got an email from a dear friend that said they have it book marked, so now I feel obligated to update it! So… let me take you through the last few months….

Well, we did in fact turn in all of our paperwork on March 17th and then we waited as the agency spent the next few weeks contacting our listed references (BIG Thank You by the way to those who were targeted!!). After our references dutifully lied for us (just kidding), we then awaited getting assigned to a social worker who would conduct our Home Study. For those of you that I haven’t verbally explained this to…the Home Study is when the social worker scrutinizes every aspect of your life, personality and habits to determine if you are suitable to be a parent (don’t you think everyone should have to go through this???). Anyway…so by the end of April our Social Worker (I will refer to her as “R”) contacted me to introduce herself and let me know that she’d be scheduling our first appointment over the next few weeks (more waiting). So Lee and I had our one on one interviews with “R” on Monday, May 19th. They went really well…and apparently we filled out our paperwork SO well that she barely had any questions or blanks to fill in for us! I also want to say that “R” is probably one of the coolest chicks and is so easy to talk to! After our one on ones with her we assumed that our House Visit (when they come to inspect your home) would be a few weeks later…. Ours was scheduled for that FRIDAY!!! Yikes! So I immediately took off from work on that Friday (luckily I have the most understanding and flexible boss in the universe) and cleaned our house top to bottom- of course the puppies were following me around looking quizzically at the cleaning supplies wondering what in the world I was doing. But, the house looked fabulous – if I have to say so myself!!! So “R” arrived and went to meet our dogs first, who were initially penned up but once released carried on by jumping and wiggling at her in excitement…LUCKILY – she didn’t mind! She then proceeded to glace around the downstairs and commented that it was “very nice”, we than gave her the tour around and she again said “very nice”. I almost challenged her to bend down and check the baseboards for dust…but I thought better of it!! We then came back downstairs and sat at the dining room table to wrap things up… Not to say that I wasn’t happy to have a clean house, but I was secretly hoping the inspection would be a little more in-depth to pay tribute to my earlier cleaning spree! Oh Well… so we ended up just chatting nonchalantly about pretty much nothing for about 15 minutes when she got up to go. Here is where the excitement begins… “R” opened our front door to leave and we were following behind her to walk her out to her car. Well the pups took the opportunity of a wide open front door to also exit. Initially we weren’t worried because they usually stick close by, especially when there is someone new to jump on and around… but the little sh*ts took off down the sidewalk. I called them and they stopped for a minute….but then took off like bats out of h-e- double hockey sticks. Lee and I then left our befuddled social worker standing on our porch as we took off in a full on sprint down 4 blocks trying to catch them before we cornered them in the garage of one of our neighbors!! As we were carrying them back down the street, just imagining what would have happened if they had run out onto the street instead of staying on the sidewalk we saw “R” by her car laughing… She said we exhibited “great teamwork” and it reminded her of what it takes to roundup a couple of toddlers!! So… luckily the fact that our dogs ran crazily as far away from our house as possible did not reflect poorly on us!!

After this visit, it was now on “R” to finish her report and send it in to the Superior Court of Arizona for approval! She worked quickly and turned it in the following Tuesday! And as most of you know we received the official word that we had been approved on Tuesday June 10th!!! WOOHOO!!!
While we were waiting for the few weeks in between our first visit with “R” we also had to start our “Dear Birthmother” letter. This is HUGE!!!! Being that it is the only source that the birthmother has to “get to know us” prior to deciding to meet us, it was a big undertaking. We were told it was important to have a FABULOUS front cover picture…so we chose the one that I put here on the board (the one with me in the blue shirt and Lee in the white shirt- and yes we did get it professionally taken) – hopefully everyone will agree that it is a pretty good picture of us both?????? Please???? And our entire “profile letter” (as it is also called) ended up being 10 pages. Long, yes, but we do have photos on every page and 3 whole pages are just a photo montage. So all in all not too long!

So, now that the letter is done and we are certified, we are now on our agency’s prospective waiting list. This is the waiting list for the actual waiting list. The way our agency works- it only allows 30 families on the active list at a time, so you have to wait on the prospective list until a spot on the active list opens up. We are #7 on the prospective list…UGH!!! I have been told though that this can move a lot quicker than you would think, but it still seems like a long way off to wait just to wait! There is still the possibility that we could be shown even though we aren’t on the active list…like if the birthmom requests a younger couple (we are one of the younger couples- a lot of them are in their late 30’s or 40’s). But we will likely be waiting for at least a few months to be moved to the active list!!!

Regardless of the potentially long wait, we have allowed ourselves to get super excited and make a few purchases of some of the essentials. We have the car seat, pack and play, crib, changing table and crib bedding! I have also attached a picture of the bedding we chose… our nursery will be a Beach theme!!! I have likened the feeling of being officially certified to that of seeing a positive pregnancy test (I have never seen one, so I can’t be sure). But it is a HUGE sense of accomplishment and OVERWHELMING JOY!!!! This is absolutely the best feeling in the world to know that we are approved and that dirty diapers and a screaming baby are impending!!! We have decided to slowly but surely start getting the nursery together and I am going to hand paint a border of fish and bubbles around the room to match the bedding! Supposedly preparing the nursery helps pass the time… so if we have to wait a LONG time the nursery is going to be seriously decked out!!!

So here we are… waiting…Lee and I joke every time the phone rings that we “better get it, it could be our baby”… but I am sure the reality of that will set in a bit more once we are actively being shown to birthmoms! And I am sure I will start freaking out more and more with every passing day.

I also think about the woman out there that could potentially be the “tummy mommy” to our child and say a prayer for them, realizing that something that would bring us sheer happiness is currently turning their world upside down and forcing them to make a life altering and completely self sacrificing choice. I hope that God is with them guiding them and giving them peace throughout their pregnancy and in the choices they are making.

On that note… we will just be here waiting for our little someone to join our family. I will try and write more updates as something new happens or as we move farther along with the nursery I will have to post pictures!
Signing off for now, and I will try not to let so much time pass in between posts!!!

Done with our 2nd class!!!

We are officially done with our Adoption classes. WOOHOO!! our next step is to turn in our official application packet, and I am VERY happy to report that we will be doing so on the 17th!! We have two things left on our checklist: our fingerprinting, and Lee's doctor's report. Both of which will happen on the 17th! Once we turn in our packet the agency will send our references (you know who you are) the reference questionnaire and once those are returned we will begin our visits with our social worker. I haven't really thought about it, but YIKES I better start getting my house all nice and neat! After those three visits our social worker writes up our report to send to the courts/judge for approval. Hopefully by July we will be certified and be on the waiting list to be matched with our little one!!! It is kind of surreal to think there is a possibility that we will have our baby before we would if I were to get pregnant right now. There is also the reality that we could be waiting for several years (although most people in our agency wait less than a year). In the meantime I am allowing myself to look at this time as our pregnancy and therefore letting myself get excited at the definite reality of one day having my child in my arms. Well I better get going... our next project is working on our profile letter and our scrapbook to present to birthmothers! and oh yeah... cleaning the house!