Maybe Baby??

Okay...pheww... it's been a long month, and I am sorry to all my friends and family, that I don't get to talk to often, that have missed out on all the excitement while it was happening. Well lots has happened on this adoption rollercoaster and I will do my best to fill you in on the latest ups and downs.

Well about a month ago, Lee and I were home sick and we received a call from our social worker. Lee answered the phone and was listening intently (our social worker is quite the talker...just like me) I kept looking at him for some kind of indication as to what she was saying, but he wasn't giving me anything! Then he asked me to pick up the other phone and our sw (social worker) proceeded to tell us that she had a "very iffy situation". There was a baby (a baby boy) who had been born on August 4th. The birthmother had wanted to place him for adoption but the birthfather was contesting. In Arizona (and I think most states) the birthfather is petitioned with paternity and he has 30 days to file...well this dear dad filed on day 31... however that meant that he was going to go to court to fight for paternity. Our sw felt that could go two ways... either the judge could say "you filed late...too bad so sad" or he could say "what's one day, I will grant you paternity". Well, we got the call on Monday and the court date was that Wednesday. Basically, our social worker was asking if we wanted to be presented... of course we said "YES". We were/are still on the prospective waiting list, but because this birthmom had already seen all the active profiles she had asked to see more, so that is why we ended up getting shown.
Well of course on Wednesday we were on pins and needles to hear what the judge would say... at this point we didn't even know if the birthmom would pick us (I think our sw said she was looking at 5 other profiles), but we were still excited at the prospect. Well.. I got the call on Wednesday that the judge postponed the hearing and appointed the birthdad a lawyer and rescheduled the hearing for mid-September (the 18th to be exact). Our social worker said she would let us know if/when she heard anything more, but that she felt if the birthmom had to wait another month before she could place, she most likely would decide to parent. She already had the little guy home with her and I am sure she was falling more and more in love with him everyday. I can only imagine how tough it must be for birthparents to part with there little ones. So...at that point we kind of figured it was a done deal. For some reason though I had a itchy feeling that I needed to check in with our sw, so the following Monday I emailed her to see if there were any updates. She told me no and that they hadn't heard from the birthmom over the weekend and were assuming she'd parent... Well that night my body rebelled and I got a horrible stomach flu... the following day I stayed home sick and was surprised out of a nap by a call from our sw....She had talked to the birthmom and she had said the birthdad agreed to sign the adoption papers...AND she CHOSE A COUPLE NAMED LEE AND KRISTY!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo right??? In order to protect us our agency wouldn't let us do a meeting with her until they got word that the birthdad had officially signed the papers.... and that is where our excitement ends... a few days went by and no word from the birthmom, our sw had called and left her several messages and didn't get a call back.... then a week went by...still no call...at two weeks the situation was deemed over and we are now back to waiting. We aren't sure what happened, but we can only assume that the reality of placing her little babe that she had with her for a month kicked in and she realized she couldn't do it. Lee and I have just prayed for her and the little guy and hope God grants her the strength to make a good life for herself and her sons. So, that is the story of our "maybe baby"! I have no way to accurately describe the emotions I went through during this process.... from sheer panic after the first call (omg, are we ready for this!!! - answer... of course we are!!! ), to disappointment after hearing the judge prolonging the situation, and sadness for the birthmom who basically was being backed into a corner to parent, to an undescribable ELATION when we heard she had actually picked us (the ultimate compliment) and I the big mouth that I am immediately began spreading the word (warning everyone to have cautious optimism) that it looked like Lee and I were going to finally have our prayers answered and be blessed with a son. To growing sadness and disappointment with everyday that passed that we hadn't heard from her. We were lucky that we didn't have the opportunity to hold him and bond with him, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't fall in love with the idea of the little guy.

So, that's that and now we are back on the prospective list...last we knew (a month ago) we were #5... and our agency contact told me this past Friday there was a lot of placement activity and she would let us know this week how many spotS we moved up (that's right plural spots) So we are holding our breath to see if we've made it to 1,2, or 3!!!!

As you can see this journey is still quite the rollercoaster of emotions, but Lee and I have faith that we will be placed with the baby meant to be ours and we know it will happen when it is meant to!! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!!!

Trying to stay sane in Arizona!!
Kristy & Lee